The red tones of Christmas

Coming into the holiday season, I, like many with less than perfect family situations, was very aware of the greys of Christmas, the shadows, the experience of lacking what the culture is celebrating. Walking through this holiday season with those who chose my company, I was surprised and bemused at the intensity of RED experiences erupting all around me.

First, let's look at the red associated with something to celebrate. somebody said somewhere that a lot of relationships start in this holiday season, and in fact three of my Facebook friends have happily changed their status to "in a relationship" with something close to an announcement tone. At the same time I was aware of the pull myself, not the dark pull of depressive thinking and feeling, but the red pull of chemistry suddenly manifesting in relationships where things had been pleasantly quiet for quite some time. Of course these two subconscious or unconscious influences are quite related, since the red chemistry of attraction brings to life new social status, the desire for which is most keenly felt at this time of year: "See, I have a significant other, isn't s/he wonderful;" and life is magically transformed at least for a while! Gone or at least more deeply submerged is that implacable dark pull.

But at the same time as these red under-currents are here and there resulting in new celebrations; there are also red outbursts of a different variety. All around me couples are showing the strain, or actually bursting out into unrestrained conflict: there is anger, wounding, damage and destruction. I remember my first wife left me on Valentine's day; there is something about the pressures of these socially constructed rituals and expectations. Relationships are being positively or negatively transformed under the pressure of this socially constructed vice: change is bursting out.

Well, for better or for worse, another holiday season has passed: perhaps you fit the stereotype, and you had a enjoyable, warm holiday season with memories to cherish. For those for whom the red tones of Christmas have blessed you with a new start, a new relationship, be grateful and take good care of each other. For those for whom the pressure was inexorable and the reds of damage are mingling with the dark greys and black of hurt, loss, and despair, remember that this too will pass, that everything is always changing; and that new life awaits whether it is the restoration of a transformed relationship, or the blessings our creator/universe is always showering on us, giving us resources to heal and build anew with hope and courage.

May 2010 be a year in which increasingly you find yourself blessed and a blessing in all that you do! :)